The best possible Oscar host for 2019 has been waiting in the wings since 1954.

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A young Betty White behind the wheel of a 1954 Oldsmobile Starfire 98.

The 1954 Academy Awards

Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences

The Academy Awards ceremony is just over a month away, and after the whole Kevin Hart fiasco, the show is reportedly going to be modeled after a Quaker communion: no host. That’s fine if you’re trying to abolish slavery, but Hollywood’s Biggest Night deserves High Church Episcopalian pomp and circumstance at the very least! A hostless Oscars—which didn’t work out too well the last time they tried it—shows a lack of respect for Oscar traditions, so much so that we went all the way back to the very first Academy Awards in 1929 in search of historical evidence to prove that our vague notion was correct. Then we remembered that host Douglas Fairbanks managed to squeeze the entire first ceremony into a tight—some…

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